The Right Time?

My beloved, 

I don't like how all of this is coming to an end. I don't mind the ending but this is not how I wanted it to end. For the past year or so I kept waiting for the 'right time' but it came too late. I kept waiting for the sunshine and missed out on the mystery of night. I wish I had more time; I wish we had more time. 

You entered my life very organically, without any chaos and storms in my bay. I was not expecting to fall for anyone ever again. I assumed I was too damaged to ever feel any real feelings for any other person. My past and my own decisions broke me. I wasn't expecting to feel this intensely for you or anyone else for that matter. It wasn't love at first sight. I did not get attracted to you suddenly. This love came to me slow and steady. But now everything is ending.

I don't even know much about you. I want to know more about you. I want to know what your dreams are, what scares you the most, and what makes you happy. I want to know your favourite movie, what kind of songs you like, do you even enjoy songs, and how do you stay so up to date with the world. I want to know your favourite colour (I suspect it is black); I want to know about your family, your childhood, your past and your present. I want to know everything there is to know about you.

Sadly, there's no time left for all of this. We'll soon leave this place and never look back. I wish I had approached you sooner instead of waiting for the 'right time'. I wish the 'right time' had come sooner. Now you feel like warm sand slipping out of my palms on a serene beach as the sun goes down leaving a red mess. I feel like I am a random breeze on your face on a sunny morning. You will quickly forget the breeze but I can never forget you because you feel like a victory after gruelling hard work. You feel like a lifetime; you feel like forever.

Sometimes I wonder if it could be like a classic, romantic movie. The climax would be intense. I would come to the airport to bid you adieu, both of us anxious and excited. The time would come when we must part. As you're leaving I would grab your hand. My eyes filled with longing sadness would lock with yours. Your eyes would reciprocate the pain. My shivering lips would then part to confess but instead say, "All the best for the future!" You would give a pale smile as you understand they want to say something else. You would almost hear them scream, "Please don't go. Stay with me forever. I have these feelings for you and I want you to know them." You would turn to go, take two steps and then turn right back to embrace me in your arms. You would hold me tight till we both let our guards down and confess the truth! 

But it isn't a movie! This is real life. I am not even sure how you feel about me and there is no time left to know. Time became the villain of this love story. But I've learned my lesson now. There is no 'right time' for anything. If only I'd known this sooner, I might've been called yours and this letter wouldn't be drenched in tears!

~ Someone who couldn't be yours truly!