The Heart That Speaks

My beloved,  I don't like how all of this is coming to an end. I don't mind the ending but this is not how I wanted it to end. For the past year or so I kept waiting for the 'right time' but it came too late. I kept waiting for the sunshine and missed out on the mystery of night. I wish I had more time; I wish we had more time.  You entered my life very organically, without any chaos and storms in my bay. I was not expecting to fall for anyone ever again. I assumed I was too damaged to ever feel any real feelings for any other person. My past and my own decisions broke me. I wasn't expecting to feel this intensely for you or anyone else for that matter. It wasn't love at first sight. I did not get attracted to you suddenly. This love came to me slow and steady. But now everything is ending. I don't even know much about you. I want to know more about you. I want to know what your dreams are, what scares you the most, and what makes you happy. I want to know y...

  “Should I go and get my CV?” “Yes, please!” I got up, turned around and sprinted to grab my CV. “BAM!” The next moment, I was on the floor with a weird pain near my lips in a room full of recruiters staring down at me. Someone asked, “Are you alright?” “I am fi…” There was blood on my hand and the floor, and someone shouted, “You are not fine!” -:- I have been beating myself up for the past 12-15 months. I have this weird need to feel perfect and not fuck anything up… again! It feels like I am trying hard to hold onto something pricky like a barbed wire. I know it is cutting my flesh and still, I don’t want to let it go. I am 24 and I feel like this is the only time I can do something worthwhile, make a career, get a job, find my passion, give time to my family, make friends, live a life, and the list goes on. I feel this burden of doing all the right things at this exact time. Why do I feel so? That story is petty as hell! I have always been an academically decent girl. Academic...

“Even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have.” This line from Stephen Chbosky’s novel ‘Perks of being a wallflower’ has been stuck in my mind. I read this novel a long time ago but, it has kept its imprint on my mind. I go back to it all the time to feel the same things, differently each time. I like reading novels. I will not shy away from saying I like simple, non-historical, fictional novels. I have read many such novels and forgotten about them. Only a few novels have the power to hold you from within. I am not going to write a review about the Perks of being a wallflower. There are experts out there to do this job. I am just going to pour my thoughts about the novel. The novel is written in a very different fashion. Unlike other novels with chapters, it is in the form of letters. Charlie writes letters to an unknown person and talks about everything around him. While reading I felt as if all those letters were writ...

  Why is social media depressing? You open your Instagram and see a bunch of your friends & cousins doing random stuff. You see your friends getting 2nd dose of the vaccine but the CoWin app never even let you book your 1st slot. Another story shows your peers having a vacation in Goa or worse, abroad. You are stuck at home and the only place you can visit is the nearest medical shop. You shut down your Instagram and watch your screen go blank (for approximately 0.05 sec). You open LinkedIn now, thinking you are smart. There you see many freshers getting their dream jobs. You realize you are 23 and graduate from a prestigious college and the only thing you've ever been placed in is a stereotype! Everyone is going to earn their "own money" now and you are going to sit on your father's couch eating Lays he bought for you while watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. on his TV. For a change you see someone getting into their dream college and you wonder will you ever enter your drea...

  "How will I ever get out of this labyrinth?" These last words of Simon Bolivar would have been forgotten only if Alaska wouldn't have asked, "How to escape the labyrinth?"  Even since I have read this book, 'Looking for Alaska,' by John Green I have framed these words near my study table. I keep asking myself, "How can I escape this labyrinth?" Everyone is stuck in his/her/their labyrinth and as much as we try to escape it, we end up getting stuck deeper and deeper. How could Alaska Young escape the labyrinth, straight and fast? And why can't we? Aren't we all in the labyrinth that she could escape so quickly? What are the strings attached to us? She didn't have a mother but many people don't have parents and they don't just kill themselves. Why did Alaska, of all people, escape her labyrinth?  Guilt! It was the guilt and the feeling that she disappointed all the people in her life that made it easy for her to escape the l...

“He is heartbroken.” “Aren’t we all?” These lines from “Turtles all the way down” by John Green make sense, right? Aren’t we all heartbroken? At some point in our lives we get our hearts broken. Be it a rejection from our crush, our partner cheating on us, our friend betraying us, death of someone close to us or our own expectations failing us.   Psychology says that the psychological pain we feel from a heart break is as real as and as painful as any other physical pain. So if we feel as if someone is putting a knife through our heart then we are actually feeling that pain. When we say “heartbroken”, it actually reflects that pain of living with something shattered within us. Haven’t we all been there? Aren’t we dealing with one right now? We all are dealing with our heart breaks in different ways. Some are doing better and some are still stuck in the loop of pain.   What is the point of this? If heart break is law of nature then why do we still dream? Why do we trust...